Sunday, May 4, 2008

Day 16 & 17

I'm not doing well. The last two days I felt terribly alone. Standing in my refuge, isolated more than ever. I cried. Dr. Kelley sent a note that being depressive would be normal. No doubt about it.

I can not write much here as I did not do anything. I don't want any more time for the smallest violations. Walking around would just let me in the next trap, someone bumping in me, some spying by moving the mouse, a wrong TP, so many things. I have enough of it. I don't want anymore.

I looked through some profiles, making me even more sad and feeling so very much on my own, left alone. Trine dropped from my friendslist. Trine!!! And two relationships I saw broke. I don't know if this is all still worth it.



I get suicidal. I was at the cancel account button *sighs*.

244 hours done, 83 still on the timer.

2 comments:

Iced Berg said...

Sorry about the deleted comment... anyway...

I'm not upset anymore. I'm just very sad and love my dear and troubled friend who is trapped in this uncommunicative rubber shell. I love you, dear, and I will be here for you when you're out.

I love you, I miss you.

I long to hold you again.

<3

-- Katie

Boy Lane said...

Thank you honey! I love you, and I need someone to hold me. I really do. Marine just cheered me up a bit, holding my virtual hand for a while. I'm crying. I don't make that up. She threatend to release me, but I have to finish it. I don't know if I fall in a big empty hole afterwars. I wanted it hard and I got it the hard way. They say one has to be down completely to recover. I'm close to that.

I am so empty. I got something different from what I was searching. I broke down at least. Boy