Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Day 19

I was crying a lot in RL. That's not a RP thing. I think I wrote that before that this is much more than a game for me. it is pretty much real. People are real. The pain is real. As is the love.
I spoke to Dolma, I was cheating. But I had to do it. We talked long. She has her heart on the right side and was virtually holding my hand so many times, calming me down and cheering me up. I hurt her to kick her from my friendslist with all the others in my despair; if that is the right word. I hurt her probably badly. I got her back as a friend and I promise to never hurt her again. I hope I can talk to Elaine too.

I try to fix my life. I try to get myself straight. To stay with the real friends I have, not the ones who pretend to. I can not trust easily anymore.

Hold it against me that I write what is important for me. Some have done that before. It is only about me. And it is about the ones I feel close to, the ones I can open myself to and the ones I love. You are part of me and I hope I can be part of you. That is all what is important. That is all what counts.

Coventina hugged me as close as she could get in an offline IM. I hope you will be there for a real hug soon. I love you!

286h done / 47h left


Win said...

Boy, I am nothing to you but your Operator (*former* Operator, by the way, after one of those timeouts occurred when I was on vacation) so I am not the right person to tell you this. But I do hope your sadness is cured when you come back to Real (second) Life. I don't know you at all, I probably never will, but please don't let SL affect your RL moods so much... and please try and be happy with yourself even when RL is sad. It's not worth crying so much and it's not good after a while. And yes, I know it's so much easier to say this than to do it, but I needed to tell it anyways.

I move back to silence again now, and leave your true friends be with you, speak to you and try to be as close to you as they can.


Boy Lane said...

Thanks dear, I do hope we will have a chance to learn to know each other better. You are a great person. And you are one of my true friends.