I was crying a lot in RL. That's not a RP thing. I think I wrote that before that this is much more than a game for me. it is pretty much real. People are real. The pain is real. As is the love.
I spoke to Dolma, I was cheating. But I had to do it. We talked long. She has her heart on the right side and was virtually holding my hand so many times, calming me down and cheering me up. I hurt her to kick her from my friendslist with all the others in my despair; if that is the right word. I hurt her probably badly. I got her back as a friend and I promise to never hurt her again. I hope I can talk to Elaine too.
I try to fix my life. I try to get myself straight. To stay with the real friends I have, not the ones who pretend to. I can not trust easily anymore.
Hold it against me that I write what is important for me. Some have done that before. It is only about me. And it is about the ones I feel close to, the ones I can open myself to and the ones I love. You are part of me and I hope I can be part of you. That is all what is important. That is all what counts.
Coventina hugged me as close as she could get in an offline IM. I hope you will be there for a real hug soon. I love you!
286h done / 47h left
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