Thursday, December 25, 2008
P.S. that's not PG :):
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
But I'm sure this damned thing is faulty. Sitting around for ten hours of my sentence, suddenly this "Custodian" added 8h 34 mins to my time. Crazy cheapo electronics. But after I saw the chairs they use, what else to expect :).
My time went already up by 1 /3 after the first day. And I did not even provoke it or developed any suit dependency syndrome :). But probably I will have some time to think about this...
Good thing *shameless promotion*, Cool Viewer has beed updated to 188.8.131.52 Release 35 including backported Mono. It's pratical when IM conversations last only for 2 lines *giggles*
Monday, October 20, 2008
Time was right, I was just coming back from a walk to the lake and spit out the chewing gum on that police car. Not that it would really matter as it was already sprayed all over. Same as the Detention Center in Stanlee.
But they seemed they were just waiting for me. Searching me and blaming me for vandalising the sim *shrugs*. As if that would be my fault. And they could not even find the red spray can. But I know who did it :P.
I got caught, transfered to this new "Rehabilitation Center" or Alter Technologies how the evil call themselves. I don't really know what happend. Was all too fast. They took my money, they injected me some nanoprobes and when I woke up still dizzy these gangsters put some remote control in a helmet on me. Custodian they call it. I remember this word somehow from a distant past. Still can not really make sense of it.
So I tried to find a way back home....my view is blur. But I found the lake again.
There I'm sitting now, in Stanlee, Home of the Latex and Bane Dolls....waiting for the things to come. Feel free to drop by, but don't expect me to say hello. Somehow they managed to seal my mouth :).
B-8644 (that weird new name they gave me)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I reworked a lot of old rules, to eliminate potential drama, and to give us a better, flat structure. To enjoy to be a sister again.
Come and take a look, our home is located at Bedroom Bound - Home of the Latex Dolls, Stanlee (213, 198, 38).
Luv, Boy - M1
Friday, August 29, 2008
For the moment, there is only one thing that is important.
A great lady, a good friend, a wonderful person disappeared at 8 August from SL. Mitzy Shino. You may know her as the one behind Bedroom Bound and/or as one of the restless persons to make SL a better place for all.
Mitzy, you are gone for 3 weeks now. There are a lot of people who miss you and who care for you. You did not leave a trace. Please, if you can, give a sign of life. We miss you!!!
Boy, in the name of all.
[Update] 2 Sept: Mitzy disappeared today from groups and search, that happens when one gets banned from SL :(
She is back. Thanks all who cared.
It's a rollercoaster ride for me....Ingrid Breck is gone. I should just take my head and put it somewhere in the sand hiding.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Not much of a choice I had, no TP pad around and Miss Pixi with a tazer in her hand, I followed her orders. She was a little bit busy and I thought she did not notice, so I used the short time to hack into the warden's laptop on the table and I think I could remove the traces of my criminal record. At least I hope.
Somehow she must have seen it, or she just followed the normal process? Miss Dawn was requested to unlock my collar and it was replaced with a special prison collar. I have no clue what that thing can do. Miss Pixi tried to lock me in a cell besides Dawn to let me wait for the prison's warden, Miss Carlotta, to decide about my fate.
Again, she was not careful enough and when she opened the door I used the chance to run away... I made it to the second floor, and got trapped in a rat infested corner. An easy catch for Miss Pixi who put me on a leash in no time.
I'm still there now, together with my friend, the rat. Not sure if it is always the same tho. Perhaps I should give it a name. Waiting for Miss Carlotta to come and turn a detainee in a prisoner. I'm afraid my actions were enough to replace the record I tried to delete :).
Prisoner 239 to be
Saturday, June 7, 2008
I posted what I did in Darien's blog. http://dariencaldwell.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/lls-secret-shame-finale/
Here is a crossposting (the important thing is the telephone number):
> My account got disabled too yesterday. Luckily I could call them
> after one day and it was reactivated. Still puzzled what happend
> but I withdrew 500USD to my Paypal account which is in my
> SL name. It did not work in the first time. I got a mail from LL
> that I would have to change my profile information which I did
> and which probably led to my ban.
>> We were unable to process your payout request due to lack of
>> valid payment information. Please go to “update payment
>> method” on secondlife.com to re-enter the payment information
>> before requesting> another payout.
>> Warm Regards,
>> Linden Lab Billing
> Searching in Google and forums revealed that accounts are
> disabled on a daily basis without any explanation given. So be very
> very careful what you do. For me I will not put any money
> anymore in SL. For all who can not call a US toll free number
> internationally, try this one I got from their billing: 703-342-0602
> I wish nobody that such thing happens. It is scary, disturbing,
> damaging. It feels terrible. They can kill avatars and people so
> Boy Lane said this on April 29, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Friday, May 23, 2008
This ex-bane has recovered almost from its sentence. (Letting the RL things drift away and enjoying the RP part of it). KTI decided to hire me, somehow they thought my experience would be worth to give me a job. So I work as an operator now for Dr. Kelley. It was quite a change, to be suddenly on the other side, to be in control of banes. Of someone I was a short time ago myself.
I've been in control before, nothing really new. I hope I can be a good operator to the ones who are lucky enough to be online on the waiting list when I am around. I try to give something back I have learned. So banes of Op Lane, consider yourself lucky *smile*.
But there are these other things, these.....these things I overheard. They tell people about their 100% success rate. These guys in charge of KTI. But then, there are the rumours, that banes disappeared. I was threatend one day myself even. And the rumours about the secret labs, where they develop all these high tech things.
I know, I can not prove it, but I signed this non-disclosure agreement. And someone, someone I know, she forced me, she forced me to tell her what I know. I did not want to do it, she let me know choice *bites on her tongue*. I could not live with it. I think I build a not too bad reputation in the short time as operator. So I turn myself in to the KTI security *shivers*.
Probably they will allow me only to finish monitoring the 5 banes I have out there, KTI has too less stuff and they are bloodsuckers. After this, I don't know. I heard the SLBI may be involved now, too close connections to KTI. They look for more in my history. And we all have that dirty thing hidden... Likely I will have to go to jail. Not much I could do. I am in danger...
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
I only hope I can get out of it this weekend. And I hope I can go out gracefully with rping out. Mitzy was unable to do it she said. I will be patient after that long time or at least I will try. It was so much, it has a strong meaning for me. Still I am scared and don't know what will happen next. I want out and I want to stay in. I know there is another life out there waiting, it will be not the one I left. But I hope at least some of my old friends are still there. Some are gone...
10 hours on the timer and I added some violations. I am scared to get out.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
I reflected a lot about myself. Good, bad, horrible things. I am no angel, I never was. I am through all levels, from being an abused slave up to M7 in LBD. I have seen all. I know all. I know how people react, behave, hurt, damage. I am done with that. Completely done. Nobody will ever hurt me again that way.
The last two days I only got my time down. Some network problems added 4x 30 mins up and a warning from my operator. But nothing serious. My custodian still hates me and rebooted a 5th or 6th or who knows how many times. I keep going, it will be soon over. Today I am at 21 days.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
I spoke to Dolma, I was cheating. But I had to do it. We talked long. She has her heart on the right side and was virtually holding my hand so many times, calming me down and cheering me up. I hurt her to kick her from my friendslist with all the others in my despair; if that is the right word. I hurt her probably badly. I got her back as a friend and I promise to never hurt her again. I hope I can talk to Elaine too.
I try to fix my life. I try to get myself straight. To stay with the real friends I have, not the ones who pretend to. I can not trust easily anymore.
Hold it against me that I write what is important for me. Some have done that before. It is only about me. And it is about the ones I feel close to, the ones I can open myself to and the ones I love. You are part of me and I hope I can be part of you. That is all what is important. That is all what counts.
Coventina hugged me as close as she could get in an offline IM. I hope you will be there for a real hug soon. I love you!
286h done / 47h left
Monday, May 5, 2008
We talked about why I went into banishment, why I upped the time so much. I wanted to withdraw from it all, run away, hide. I still want and I am not getting anyhow better. I am empty. It just sucks. I was thinking about the things that happend. I am in SL for one year now and I am through so many up and downs. There are a number of people that were very important for me, people I was close to, people I loved, and people I lost.
Kamila was my first Miss, my friend, my love. We spent every day together, mostly in Deitide. I was young in SL. She opened my eyes for so many things. We were together for more than 2 months. We almost partnered. Then one day she just told me she found someone else. In SL and RL. The story was not really good. Perhaps she was afraid of getting too close. I will probably never find out. But I will always carry you in my heart. A world broke down for me. I was running around for weeks like an idiot, hanging around at BD ranch, desperate, lonely. I met a couple of wannabies, was abused by an asshole. Upside down for months.
Then one day, MissLida, I bumped into you in the little shop of kink. You were just standing there in a corner, said some nasty things to me to gain my attention. I almost burned you *smile*. Later we met, we talked and we got close to each other. I met someone else shortly before and I was not sure what to do. I decided with you for you. You became my second Mistress. But you were at the other end of the world, we did not see very often. I was exploring other things in the meantime. And I decided to become a Latex Doll. You released me as this was required. Months later, a lot of crap had happend with the dolls, I went back to you and you accepted me a second time as yours without asking questions. You will always be my Mistress, forever. Eventhough we barely have time to meet. I love you Mistress. I'm sorry if I hurt you and for all the trouble I caused.
Elaine and Dolma, you are two LD sisters precious to me. I know I did many things wrong, you were always there to try to help me, to de-escalate, to talk to people. You tried to get me back, to get that silly ban lifted. It did not work, too much hate and unforgivingness. I thank you for all what you have done for me. In the end it comes down to the one word, respect. I did a hard cut with the Latex Dolls. I kicked almost all from my friendslist and you were amongst them. I did it to get over it, not because I hated you. But I lost you as well doing so. You will always be sisters for me. I wish you all the very best and perhaps one day things may change. Perhaps a spark of hope is left.
Ingrid, you are very special to me. I don't build things but I felt very close to you, seems we are very similar. We share an unpleasant path. You said once I polarize people. So do you, love and hate, pleasure and pain. You invited me to join LBD after the three months I worked hard in Latexia. I became a Latex Bondage Doll. A new world opened for me. I was allowed to do things, to actively work for the group. I put all my energy and love in LBD, the group started really to live, with many new and old people flowing in. We got new uniforms, we got new land, we got new rules. It was hard work. Very hard work. I did not realize I hurt others by pushing to hard. To try to get things done. I was too busy to see that big drama boiling up behind my back. What happend in the end, I lost my home, LBD, and I lost you as a friend. I did not want to hurt anyone. I did not want to do any harm. I wished I could turn back the clock. LBD will always be in my heart. I love you sister.
Winter, we met in LBD, you are a great girl, you have so fantastic ideas, you do such a great work. Somehow we connected very early and we spent our time together. We did our 48h trial together in one cage, when reading the Eudeamon story. And as if it would be a coincidence, Katrina's Eudeamon has the same name as you. I became MDoll in LBD. I had thrown myself into work. I was busy and did not see my girl waiting for me. You made the new uniform and everybody got crazy about it. Nobody could wait, all were pushing you. I tried to buffer but one day it all went overboard. I was in the middle. And I lost you. I lost you for this f***ing uniform. God damn! Things went quiet. We met later again, and we are still good friends. I wish you the best of luck with Melody.
Trine, you are a very old dear friend. We had fun together like children playing with dragons, we had fun together working as dancer and escort. I shared my small home with you. All for a very long time, on and off. We met again not so a long time ago, we did something we had not done before *smile*. We knew for so long but we never thought we could be made for each other. You became my wife, I became yours. It was the happiest day of my whole SL. Perhaps we were too fast. I could not hold up with your expectations. I had too many problems on my own. We drifted apart. One day you just left me. Left in love, left in peace. To let me get my things fixed which I could not do till today. I am so sorry honey. I love you dearly. Be well and have more luck in all what you touch in the future! I do not deserve you.
Coventina, I miss you so terribly. You rescued me. You gave me hold. You protected me. You shielded me. You gave me a new home. You and Mychelle gave me a family. I was so happy and so proud, after all the months of drama behind me. I did not want to be dominant anymore, I think I failed miserably in it. I just wanted to be the little sub I am deep in my heart. I gave myself to you in LBD as SDoll. I needed a break from it all so badly. But it grew much bigger. I became your doll, your girl, for my whole second life. We spoke to MissLida and I was so happy I could have both of you, without conflict. You were my Mistress. You were my center and without you I would have possibly pulled the plug. The day I went into banishment you left me. I am still puzzled what really happend. I love you. I need you. I hope I did not lose you too, like all the others.
I could barely stand what happend the last two months. I am still hiding in my banishment. I don't know what will happen if it is finally over. Emptiness prevails, but hope dies last.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
I can not write much here as I did not do anything. I don't want any more time for the smallest violations. Walking around would just let me in the next trap, someone bumping in me, some spying by moving the mouse, a wrong TP, so many things. I have enough of it. I don't want anymore.
I looked through some profiles, making me even more sad and feeling so very much on my own, left alone. Trine dropped from my friendslist. Trine!!! And two relationships I saw broke. I don't know if this is all still worth it.
I get suicidal. I was at the cancel account button *sighs*.
244 hours done, 83 still on the timer.
Friday, May 2, 2008
I'm cheating by doing so, to be afk. I come occasionally to the maintenance as required. Look around for a short while in Zhora. Only to go back to my refuge.
I keep myself busy with other things. I updated the viewer. I read forums and blogs. Not that I would not have done that before, but now there is nothing else I could do.
I'm at 202 hours now, 125 are still on the timer. It's too much.
Some people tried to IM me, I got a present for my rezzday from my sis Ginny. I could not even take a look at it as I can't open my inventory. Coventina was online, also a IM ping. I miss you so badly. It is too much.
Marine was sick in RL too, could not come online. Now she is better but a bit handicapped herself *smile*. Guess I lost my operator.... I miss you too.
I will try to let my time run down with minimum disturbances and violations. It is way too much.
Standing in front of my beach hut I'm not allowed to enter and typing those lines...
Besides that I updated the Cool Viewer, versions 184.108.40.206 and 220.127.116.11. See the link to my other blog. Have to keep myself busy with something or I get crazy.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
You all saw what happend yesterday. I saw how I was logged out by an administrator, it then said I have to wait one hour before trying to login again. And then my account was disabled. Disabled = Ban = Death. Boy disappeared from search and groups altogether.
You can't imagine how I felt. I was completely under shock. Someone posted a link to Darien's blog where something similar happend. I searched in Google and forums. This happend so many times. I was really shaking in RL, the whole day. This is not something funny, a small mistake, something one takes lighthearted. Boy is me and I am Boy. For one year. Tomorrow is my rezzday. And Boy was killed.
I can not thank my dear friend Summer Seale enough. She provided some comfort via email, some hope. She contacted the Lindens to get help. Still I was on the edge and felt terribly helpless. Everything was gone. Was all lost? I had to wait till 9am when they start working and I got a normal number I coud call as I am unable to call US toll free numbers internationally. I finally got one lady talking to me. Something was wrong with the account. She did several checks, after 10 minutes all could be fixed and Boy came back to life. Slowly. Hurt. Disturbed. Under shock. That is in RL.
I realized one thing. There is so much more than silly games, stupid backstabbing, fighting, powerplay in groups. It is not worth to waste time with that. I said that before, it is all about people. Only about people. All the rest is nice eyecandy. And I learned it one more time the hard way.
I'm proud and happy to have dear friends who care, who are concerend, Who do not put themselves first but are there and help others. I am sorry if I hurt you. It was not my intention. All this will end here in a while. For now B-9140 returned, my sentence is still long and I will not chicken out. Boy inside did not die, but found something very important out for herself. Be there for others and others will be there for you.
B-9140 got the first time during her punishment no extension of her sentence. I am very careful now. I am hiding from contacts, from people who may accidentially bump into me. It is at a point where isolation starts working for me. Before it was a game, not intense enough. But I got hit hard. Things have changed. I have still 160 long hours to go and so I will. I hope my banishment and isolation will have the desired effect, to break me down, to open my mind, to see the really important things. I got pushed further into that direction than I wanted and expected.
I miss some people terribly especially after all what happend. That is all my dear close friends, you know who you are. And that is foremost Coventina and Mychelle. You are so important for me. I hope you will be there for me when I will be released. I love you! I need you!
Boy inside B-9140
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I need out of this soon, there are too many people who are precious to me and who care about me. I'm sorry if I have hurt you. I love you all!
About an hour ago my account was disabled by Linden Labs. I have no idea what happend. I did not get any information from them, nothing. Only that I should contact their support.
I opened a ticket and now I am waiting.
I also went to Deitide. Actually a bit curious about Lexi and her Stonehenge refuge. She was not there, if so I would not have walked in. So I just made a picture. Hope you enjoy your time in the Sable suit, Sweetie. The next level is waiting for you...
And well, I wrote something today in Marine's blog. I feel I should copy it here too. It is self explaining:
Just some thoughts from my side, why banishment and where's the kick. As M-8722 wrote, it is quiet, you get away from all that chit chat ongoing. Well, you may say that's what we are here for, to communicate. But sometimes all this just gets too much. Way too much...the drama, the backstabbing. Ever heard of someone need a break from it all? Leaving SL? I do. I needed a break badly. I wrote in my blog about it.
Being a bane is peaceful. Your "computer" deflects it all, protects you, gives you an opportunity to see and think about things in a different way. You don't need to respond, you can't. I enjoy being a bane. I enjoy having now a break I could not get for almost 7 months. I know that friends, people I love, they seriously care, they are concerend, they are hurt. But to repeat it one more time, I thank you all for this, all these IM pings which are blocked shwoing me you are with me, somewhere out there. I am perfectly ok and I need to do this for myself. I racked up hundreds of hours, I will be a ghost for a while. I chose my isolation deliberately and I do not regret it. All you dear friends out there, I hope you will wait for me. But I need to do this for myself and my peace.
And Lee, you are right, I would love to get that from and together with Mistress. No doubt about it *sighs*.
Luckily it is not only a computer involved here, there is also an operator, which Marine is for me now. Thank you so much Dear!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
No operator was online, I pinged Dr. Kelley, Miss Win and Miss Raven for help. After removing the turned red naesuit I asked in the group if someone could check my @version that I am not cheating. A bit later Dr. Kelley contacted me and was understanding and helpful as always. She fixed my suit again and locked me back in it, for a minimum sentence of 24 hours. Not her fault and nothing I could blame her as someone else did. Sadly there is always someone who tries to destroy it for others. I don't want to spoil my blog with it, it is all in Marine's already.
I was a bit busy at the weekend, let B-9140 stand around in Zhora. Some curious people came and tried to approache me. Not that it bothered me. I spoke with the castle wall and emoted wit the tower *grins*. Collecting me a nice number of violations. Overall I have now 183 hours still to go. Boy doesn't want out and B-9140 will be around for the next 2...3 weeks to come.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Dr. Kelley was online and ordered me to come back to Zhora, she appologized and said something I hope she will not consider. It is difficult with all the instability and problems of SL, it can hurt ones experience. Many problems were found already, still new ones show up every day. Everybody who wants to be locked in the banesuit should be aware that this will be a hard, sometimes even shocking experience and a mental rollercoaster.
Dr. Kelley was quick to take ownership and within minutes I was locked and isolated again, with a new 24 hours sentence I asked for. Thank you for the fast help. I hope this will be the last trouble I cause but I'm afraid more is to come. All other banes out there, you can save yourself a lot of trouble if you relog before considering a TP, especially if you have a long session and a lot of time accumulated. SL is buggy, it will crash when you don't expect it, it will roll back and you will lose your time done.
I did a couple of violations, intentional. It upped my time by 17 hours in the last update. I did it again afterwards. The ones who think I am completely crazy, please read my comment to my previous posting. Boy is not going to return anytime soon. Boy is inside B-9140 and she wants to stay there, safe and protected.
I visited the place where I spent the last months, the place that I called home. The LBD island. It looks beautiful as always. But it is no longer my home *cries silently under her helmet*.
I am at 115 hours now.
I was completely out of order. As was L-7799 who I saw blowing up her banesuit. It went all red. As it happend to me before. But she could cope with it (at least thats how it looked like). Engineer Barrett took care of us, it must have looked strange in the eyes of other banes. Please don't feel disturbed. These were only some minor technical glitches. Dr.Kelley was finally able to isolate the problems and reinstated us and our custodians.
I got a new Banesuit, the old one was beyond repair. Thats the 3rd time. I should know how it works now.
I don't know how L-7799 feels. I know that S-7896 is with me in her thoughts although we never met outside of this. Thank you sweetie.
I feel safe to be isolated again, it protects me. I must have racked up a huge amount of time only for violations today. I am crazy. I am lucky I can take things as they are.
[2008/04/23 19:36] Boy Lane: I dont want out
[2008/04/23 19:41] Operator: eudaemonic bane
[2008/04/23 19:41] Boy Lane smiles
[2008/04/23 19:41] Operator: suit depenadent
Is that what they call banesuit dependent? I don't know. But I know I will be a bane for a long time to come now.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Day 7. My custodian had a malfuntion. I am not really sure what happend to it. Somehow it crashed after I relogged, thanks to SL! My comms are working again. I can speak now, I can IM again. I can read notecards. But I can not move anymore. I am confused and disturbed. I contacted my operator... I could say "Hello Miss" to her. A long time since I did that last.
She came to me, we talked, I gave her the message I received from my custodian. Nothing she could do for me at this point of time. I am in a critical condition. my custodian is in a critical condition. The engineers and Dr.Kelly herself were informed. Some things happening right now which I don't know about and which may have dire consequences for me. B-9140 is scared. Company interests come into my mind, something my operator said. I am very scared. B-9140 doesn't want to disappear into nowhere. But higher interests are there and I have to cope with that thought. I cried for help to Dr. Kelley. I hope she can do something for this bane. Hope dies last.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Yesterday some bad things happend. Someone was chasing down banes in Zhora on a horse. She came after me too and others like Spikey were also attacked. I was told she appologized in the meantime and it was some "playful misunderstanding. Accepted and forgiven. But it was still disturbing. Disturbing as the others waiting around the maintenance station for banes to "earn" a proximity violation. I tried to run away, finding myself on a private structure in the neigbour sim...having not much control over movement with a slow network connection. Luckily these violations only piled up to a 6 hours extension. Overall I am now at 101 hours including the 8 hours from two rollbacks while crashing.
Thanks Dr. Kelley for setting up a second maintenance station in a more secluded location. This will definitely help us banes and get away from potential griefers. There is always someone who can't live and let live and destroy things for others. Sadly not only here...
Today, Day 6. I am under 20 hours remaining time now. I am online long time, let my banishment run in the background. Thats not really what it is supposed to be, it's not cheating either I guess. I don't want to be released. But it is also not as intense as I was hoping it to be. I miss interaction, someone who actively locks me up. Guess that is what isolation is about.
I emoted a bit, caught some violations, wondering what the next adjustment of my sentence will lool like. Perhaps I just get crazy and add myself a huge junk of time before I change my opinion again. It is supposed to be a punishment and I wanted it the hard way.
I am doing more RL things now like this blog to get distracted. I don't want out. I don't want to be alone out there, out of the banesuit that shields and protects me. I don't want to read the notecards I got. I don't want my SL back now. But I also don't really want to stay in that way. I still have a long way to go to find myself.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Other than that the last two days were very quiet, peaceful. I really enjoyed it to be muted and deaf, I was browsing through some groups, saw some changes. Something that would have possibly frustrated me earlier. I can let it go now, I am calm. I get my inner self stable again. I can enjoy the small things. The ones who know me will understand me. I am happy. And I haven't even met my Eudeamon yet, if ever *smile*.
Some people bumped into me, wanted to say hello, be nice. I had to run away. I had to revoke my map. Sorry dears, I have no other choice in the moment. I updated my profile too and I hope you out there will understand...
I'm half way through my sentence at this point of time. I think some nasty violation and punishment will hit me before the banesuit could eventually release me. I would be upset if not *smiles happily*.
And one more thing that happend. I tried to TP and crashed in the middle, losing about 4 hours. And this was already the second time. I'm close to a 100 hours sentence now. So be careful, relog every now and then to protect yourself from a possible rollback.
I was cheating. I was using my alt. A very good friend cried for help. Help for her RL. She wants to talk to me. She needs to talk to me. I want to help her. I dont want to let her alone. She was not online. God damn. This is not planned. I feel not good, I am in between. But she is worse of. We will talk, RL comes always first.
Love you all!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I tried later to log on again, hoping nobody would be there that time. Then it happend: "Custodian: Bane Collar : Regular viewer detected, self-destructing". Oh my god, not even banished for 1 hour and it turned red and destroyed itself. I did not cheat. I called for help using the required procedure, unable to speak as I was still fully blocked. I walked to Win and Moss who were close. They started talking, I could not see what. I did not know what to do. Finally, after a while I took off the broken custodian and after a short while I could speak again. They checked my viewer and confirmed I was on RL. What happend according to Dr.Kelley later was a timeout, caused by my slow network.
Win handled all with Dr. Kelley and I'm grateful for that. She locked me down in the meantime and blocked me, given I was banished. And she processed me again, a second time, with a new custodian. I got banished twice the same day *shivering still*. Thank you Miss!
Out I went to explore my new world. I was careful, I had to learn what I would be able to do, what I could not. I discovered that many many things are impossible now, or rather carry a punishment. There is not much a bane can do now besides watching, and the regular maintenance. I violated a lot of new rules I have still to learn, the custodian was active. They were reported, there is something to come. I know it. I have no way to avoid it.
I feel helpless a bit, controlled, still secure in my confinement. Not much I can do, it goes all inside, it is a bondage of the mind. Something the Latex Dolls pretend to achieve. I had that feeling before when I was locked in a cage for 48 hours, on an empty construction platform. I think I am happy, still uncertainty remains. This will returm when the custodian will act and my sentence be extended accordingly. I read the story, it will likely be tough. I'm looking forward to it. Being a bane gives me peace, something I was missing for a long time.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Sophia and Raven are pretty busy in the moment, so I had to wait a while. And Sophia wanted to interview me in person. My time came, and I found myself in an interogation office, nicely decorated with some snacks and drinks offered. Kinda unexpected. The interview went well, I was really shaking a bit, having the things to come in mind. And soon I found myself invited to the group and my name in the waiting list. Thank you so much sister!
I was aiming for a 24h sentence, the minimum. The relaxed interview and the prospect of getting really away from my past in SL which was pretty much drama loaded let me ask Sophia for an extension of my sentence, to a long term, and I wanted to let my Mistress decide about it. Sadly things went not so smooth, but thats a different subject (I love you Coventina, my Mistress!!!).
The time has come
With my name on the waitinglist I was approached by Win to process me the next day. We both had a bit mixed schedule, so we figured the best timeframe for my processing. We met and Win immediately cuffed me, to prepare me for my fate. She then teleported me to the processing facility. No more snacks or drinks, clean rooms as required for the implantation of the custodian. I'm not going into details here as this is something each of us banes has to experience her/himself. After about one hour I found myself being let out of the dispersal area into the wild, covered in a tight black latex skin, with the bane helmet sealed on my head, mute and deaf. Sentenced to 60 hours of banishment which I know will not be the last word.
Full protocols kicked in immediately and I was suddenly on my own. Boy was gone, a sleak black bane with the designation B-9140 remained. Ready for a long time to come, ready to be challenged by the completely changed environment and its rules and potential violations everywhere.
...to be continued.